12 3 / 2013
DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING
SINGING THE SONG OF SERIES THREE
IT IS THE MUSIC OF A FANDOM FILLED WITH PURE INSANITY
WHEN THE SCREAMING OF YOUR HEART
ECHOES THE SCREAMING OF YOUR BLOG
THERE IS A SERIES ABOUT TO START WHEN MARCH 18 COMES!
11 3 / 2013
Why is everyone so angry. Not just angry- hostile. I know, there’s the “We need to change. We, as a society, need to change. We need to be better. More accepting. All the time, accept everyone except those who don’t accept. Feminism! Women’s rights! Equality to men! Rape is bad, being gay is fine, but over-supporting your eventual children is smothering! Go women!”. Those are all valid points. I’m a feminist. I want equality with men. But I’m not active. I’ve never had to be. I spend most of my life studying and looking at fan posts… and wondering when I can sleep. And my dash is covered in posts of people angry at one another. This is my haven from the world- the one place I go on the internet to connect with cool people. And its filled to the brim with people bagging on each other. I’m tired of being angry at other people. I’m tired of being angry at ignorant or bigoted people who will not change. I’m tired of watching this corner of the internet get angry and one another and fight. So I just reblog more and more cat photos. More and more fan-art and puppies and funny gifs. And I kind of hope it’ll go away like a child who hopes the parents fighting loudly downstairs will just stop. That’s no way to go about life. That’s not a mature, grown-up course of action. I’m not really sure what to do about it though, which I suppose is why I’m writing this.
And if I post this thing that I’m writing, the only people that see it will be the few people who follow me and I’m scared to share this with them. Scared that if I post this, I’ll infringe upon their haven. I’ll create a feeling of nervousness and doubt when they reblog- ‘Is this angry? Should I express my enthusiasm for this subject? People are arguing, does it matter?’ It shouldn’t. They shouldn’t feel scared. I shouldn’t feel trepidation. I just do. I’m still wondering- If I post this, will it ever get around the internet, or will it die and float into nothing? Will it fall flat, be read maybe once or twice and be sorted into the ‘uncomfortable-stupid ponderings’ file under some people’s brains and marked to be forgotten? Or will I have people yell and argue about it in the under-texts?
Maybe I’m just not old enough for the internet. I’m 17. I feel like I should be. I can work the computer better than my aunt and my great aunt- both of which post un-punctuated (or over punctuated) grammatically incorrect statues on facebook more often than should be legal, despite their seniority over me in both age and knowledge. They aren’t angry. They advertise chain mail and family photos, but they aren’t angry. They seem content and happy with their life; with connecting with their friends and family. This is my corner of the internet- as close as I come to a cyber family. When I first discovered the site it was full of posts about what people were doing. Projects they were undertaking (or procrastinating). Like a giant semi-adult share circle, and ridiculous as that sounds. Now its more like… an plethora of arguments the extended family gets into once the wine’s being flowing for a while.
Its a little disconcerting. I guess if I wanted safe I should just stay off the web. But I thought I had gotten to a part where constant anger wasn’t a thing. And not the- oh I’m in bed and I’m freezing but they fan won’t turn itself off, kind of anger, or the angry recipes person, who is hilarious- but genuine anger and hatred towards other people. And open hostility towards them. Which is a thing, I guess. The idea of yelling at someone for holding a bigoted belief, and then yelling at the second person for their actions and expression of an opinion.. seems like a messed up way to go about things.
Maybe I’m wrong and frustrated and that makes me over sensitive. Fuck. Maybe I should just go eat some ice cream. That’ll fix something, even if its not the right things. It’ll be good enough.